The Feeling of Fear
by Lass of the Lake
Summary: Erathine Trevelyan is leading an amazing life as the Inquisitor until she learns that she is expecting a child and a dark part of her past before the Inquisition comes back to haunt her. In order to save the life of her baby, she embarks on a secret quest to destroy what threatens everything she has built. (F!Trevelyan/Iron Bull)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is my first time writing anything for Fanfiction in about 3 years but after DA Inquisition, I basically had no option but to try to put something out for this wonderful world.**

**I want to keep this short and sweet since most people will just skim this part anyway.**

**I hold no affiliation with Bioware and don't claim to own their characters or the Dragon Age world.**

Chapter 1: The Lady Trevelyan

_"Inquisitor Trevelyan? Quite the promotion from 'Mage Brat Erathine Trevelyan.'"_

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><p>The gigantic room that Erathine Trevelyan occupied was drafty, to say the least, and had been since the Inquisition had first begun its occupation of Skyhold over 3 years before. Her chamber was even more airy when the doors to her beautiful balcony were left wide open, as they had been for most of the cool early Spring morning. She'd fist stirred when her bed companion had crawled from beneath the covers at dawn, but a gentle breeze tossing her white streaked bangs - a side effect of being stuck by a particularly powerful lightning spell during a scuffle with a mage a few months ago - and tickling her nose woke her again.<p>

Era sat up, brushing her salt and pepper hair away from her face and squinting at the brightness of the sun as she looked at the large silhouette resting his elbows on the balcony, back to her. He looked so serene that way. Not that Bull ever seemed particularly troubled, but in this early morning light, he seemed truly at peace.

The small mage kicked the covers off her and grabbed her dressing gown from where it hung off her bed post to cover her lithe and naked form. Bull had all but forbidden bed clothes once he'd moved into the room permanently. He claimed they just wasted time - and fabric, since he had a tendency to tear things in his hurry - and he could provide all the warmth his Kadan needed.

"Admiring the sunrise?" she asked, slightly amused, as she came up from behind him and rested the small of her back against the stone railing so that she could look up at him.

The Iron Bull looked down at his love, his one eye softening at the sight of her, slightly mussed by the morning. "More like stalling, Kadan." His smile widened. "Besides, who needs a drab ball of light to admire when I have such a sexy thing as you."

Era giggled a little before leaning up to give him a kiss. He met her half way and it was an unusually tender kiss. Very gentle and loving. Bull was a hard man in many ways, even though he was such a personable guy, and he liked to be the boss in the physical aspect of their relationship since she, in so many ways, ran their lives, but this was not a dominant kiss. This was a goodbye kiss and it was between lovers.

Era pulled back a little and licked her bottom lip, steadfastly looking at Bull's chest, fearing she may come undone if she were to look into his eyes. "The Chargers must be waiting," she said, somewhat reluctantly. Her eyes landed on his piece of dragon tooth, hanging from his neck and mirroring her own half of the tooth and she moved to caress it's smooth, ivory surface with one hand and take hold of her own with the other. She hated to see him go, but this physical connection they had with one another, two halves to one whole... in a way, it did make the goodbye a little easier, but also, infinitely harder. "How long this time?"

Bull sighed deeply. "A month at least. Maybe a little more. It'll take us a week and half to get there if sailing is smooth and who knows what Varric's got in store for us in that City of Chains of his." He rested his hands on her hips, pulling her closer to him so that he could kiss her forehead. "I wish you could come with me, Kadan."

The mage forced a playful smile. "Yeah, me too. Stupid Celene, holding a ball in my honor to commemorate the second anniversary of my victory over Corypheus."

"As well she should," Bull returned with a smile. "She'd better kiss the ground you walk on, too." He stroked her cheek softly. "I'd better get going, Kadan... but," he said, his longing tone turning into something more mischievous as his hand moved from her face down to the belt on her robe, not pulling it but suggesting at doing so. "It's going to be a long month in Kirkwall without you there to keep me company. Maybe a final peek before I go?"

Era giggled a little backing away from him so that his grip on the belt let it fall open and the slowly slipped it down her shoulders. Bull's face simultaneously lit up and slackened just a tad. After over two years and countless occasions of coupling, she still had such an effect on him - and she absolutely loved it.

After a moment of letting him admire her, she slowly pulled the robe back together and tied it shut once more. He sighed and wrapped his arms around her, one hand pressed to her lower back, one cradling her head against his chest. "I love you, you know," he said, all playfulness gone from his voice.

The small girl felt even smaller in his gigantic arms and felt her eyes prickle at his declaration of love. How would she go without him for a month or more? She'd done it before, but each time, it seemed to get a little harder. But she pushed the thoughts back and forced a smile. "Maker, you make it sound like one of us is dying." She pushed back to give him a quick peck on the lips. "Goodbye, Kadan."

She tried to pull back but he held her in place. "Not goodbye. See you soon, My Era."

He pulled her in for one last kiss before turning and heading back into the room and down the stairs, looking back right before he disappeared. She waved, holding onto her necklace with the other hand as the last tip of his horn vanished around the corner.

~The Feeling of Fear~

Three days later saw a young girl nearly falling asleep at a meeting between the Inquisition's advisers and some local nobility. When Cassandra had taken her position as Divine Victoria, her place had been filled by Hawke as an in-field adviser of sorts, who was a match for Cassandra combat wise, but was not nearly so serious as the former Seeker. Thus, watching Hawke fold flowers out of her documents was all that was keeping Era awake. She was very talented at it. Era wondered if she were using magic to assist her.

Era hadn't even noticed that she wasn't even sitting upright anymore and had slowly sank down until her head was resting on her folded her arms until Cullen, who'd been making some announcement about troop movements or recruits or... whatever, said, "Excuse me, Inquisitor, are you feeling alright?"

She bolted upright in her chair, blinking blearily at Hawke across her before turning to look at Cullen whose brow was furled in concern. Taking a quick glance around the table proved that everyone was looking at her with similar expressions. That was a tad embarrassing. Era reddened, pushed her hair out of her face and cleared her throat. "Um, yes, Cullen. I'm quite fine. I didn't sleep well last night and I woke up a tad ill early this morning, but I feel better now. A good night's sleep would do me well."

At her side, Josephine patted her hand. "Why don't we adjourn for today?" the Antivan woman suggested and there was a murmur of agreement from around the table. Chairs slid back and people began picking up their documents.

They'd been there for maybe an hour and a half, but Hawke had already made quite the paper bouquet and began handing flowers to those around her with a cheeky grin. When one flower remained, she covered it with her gloved hand for a moment, and when she removed it, the parchment had turned from it's dull yellow to a bright red and the stem a virbrant green and she tossed the flower on the table in front of Era. "Feel better soon, Erathine," she said with a big smile before grabbing her staff from where it leaned against the back of her chair and heading out of the room.

Era smiled and picked up the parchment flower, looking at it. A pretty paper rose, to be sure.

Era liked having Hawke about Skyhold these days. Vivienne had gone back to being the first Enchantress for the Val Royeaux circle and having another powerful mage woman around was comforting, and Hawke was so much more personable than Vivienne was. Vivienne always seemed like she was about a hair's breadth away from scolding Era at all times, and while it wasn't so bad when Era had first begun her journey with the Inquisition and felt she was in constant need of guidance, it had become a bit of an issue when Era had been raised to Inquisitor. It had become the subject of many quarrels between the two women. Era had felt that Vivienne's constant reproves and remarks undermined Era's authority and Vivienne grew shorter with the younger woman, believing her to be foolish and arrogant for thinking herself above her sage advice. They'd remained friends after Vivienne's departure and still occasionally wrote to each other and had pleasant conversations at events they both attended, but it wasn't a close relationship. Hawke, however, never criticized and any advice she had for her was saved until they were alone together. And she was tons of fun, too.

Morrigan was also roaming around Skyhold, somewhere, claiming to have come back because the voices had told her she needed to - but not why, conveniently enough - but she was hardly a permanent fixture, and she was also quite occupied with Kieran and her new baby girl, Bellany. The half-elven one year old was quite the handful and Morrigan's lover was off and away again.

As Era left the room in which the meeting had been held, she was met by two very mischievous faces and suddenly, Era was very worried indeed. Dorian and Sera were friendly with each other and liked to spend time in each other's company. However, more often than not, they were sniping back and forth. With both their energies focused on her... oh, this was very bad indeed. Sera jumped a little, clasping her lithe hands together excitedly while Dorian just smiled at Era from where he was leaning against a door frame. "We know sumthin' you don' know," the blonde elf sang happily.

"Yes," Dorian agreed in his refined accent, a harsh difference against Sera's cockney lilt, "a little birdie told us. Or, more like a little spirit, anyway."

Era sighed and exaggerated an eye roll. "How many times have I told you guys not to use Cole as a source of gossip?" The two trouble makers shrugged in response and she shook her head with a good-natured smile. "Alrighty then, out with it, you too, since you're dying to tell me." She crossed her arms and waited.

"Well, you see, we," Sera started, gesturing between herself and Dorian as if Era wouldn't pick up who "we" was, "was in the tavern the udder night, right? And what should I hear frum the upstairs loft area where ghost boy haunts than the sound of him and your Cay-Dan or whatever talkin'. Healin' a hurt or whatever, right?" Era nodded, wondering what on Earth that could have to say about the Bull. "So I sneaked up on em, real close, an' you won't believe what I heard."

Era was starting to grow tried of the build up. "Get on with it."

Here, Dorian chimed in. "It seems your Bull went to Cole to get reassurance about your affections for him." Era's eyes nearly popped out of her head and she opened her mouth to protest. There was no way that Bull could doubt her love for him. They'd had virtually no problems in their relationship and most of them were just little squabbles or outbursts at the other's recklessness during a fight. But Dorian cut her off. "It seems that The Iron Bull wants to ask for your hand in marriage and was wondering if you'd feel the same... since it's never come up." Dorian smiled at her, his suave and arrogant demeanor not doing anything to cloak his amusement.

She mentally popped her eyes back into her skull for the second time. Bull wanted to ask her to marry him? That sounded strange. She'd never asked about marriage because she'd assumed it wasn't something he wanted to do and the commitment between them was enough for her. But if he wanted to...

Suddenly, her suspicion upon first seeing those two reared its head again and she narrowed my eyes at them. "Are you sure this is what you heard?"

"Cross m' heart," Sera said, actually crossing her heart.

"Josephine will plan a lovely ceremony," Dorian added.

Era didn't let her two companions see it, but the news that Bull may ask her to marry him had her overjoyed. She'd never given much thought to marriage because she'd never thought of Bull as a marriage type of guy. Being with him had been enough with her and if marriage weren't ever on the itinerary, as long as they were together, it wouldn't matter. But a wedding, officially being able to call themselves man and wife... well, every little girl dreams of their wedding and their dream husband, don't they?

Era returned to her room that night feeling light and fluffy and very eager for the month to be up so that she could see Bull again. Oh, she hoped that he would ask soon. As she climbed into bed, she idly wondered that, since he didn't technically have a last name, if she could convince him to take Trevelyan. She doubted it, but the thought of it made her giggle as she drifted off to sleep.

~The Feeling of Fear~

It was raining. Of course, it was always raining on the Storm coast. Blackwall and Cole were off to the side, having some conversation that Era couldn't make out, though Blackwall looked vaguely perplexed. But talking with Cole often had that effect on most people. She sort of wished that Varric or Solas were here to talk to the boy. It seemed like no one else had the patience to really get close to him and Era was too busy being pulled in every which direction to do much of it herself.

Her fellow mage sidled up next to her as she looked out upon the water, in the spot where she and Bull had first met. It had been quite some fight. She remembered how she'd balked at his size and marveled at his skill. She hadn't felt immediately attracted to him as some people liked to say she had when they spoke of the Inquisitor and her Qunari companion - that had all come later, with time and familiarity. One could hardly blame her for taking time though. She'd been sheltered, shoved into the Circle at Ostwick at 8 and had never seen his like before. He'd seemed strange to her at first, but now, he was beautiful. His differences made him so.

"Thinking about Bull?" Dorian asked knowingly, wiggling his eyebrows up and down at her when she turned to look at him.

"No more than you are," she sniped back playfully.

Dorian laughed. "Well can you blame me? That betrothed-to-be of yours is quite the man. Large and... well muscled. I only wish I'd gotten my hands on him before he got all smitten with you. Wouldn't even consider a romp with me after he'd gotten a taste of you."

Era's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "You didn't actually proposition him after we'd been together, did you?" He stayed silent for a moment and Era let out a disbelieving bark of laughter before smacking his shoulder playfully. "You whorish twat," she accused.

"Well I didn't know it was going to be something serious!" Dorian said defensively, putting his hands up in surrender. "How was I supposed to? He'd fucked half the servants by that point." Era did have to concede to that point. Really, she hadn't been so certain she wanted something serious the first couple times they'd been together either. At first, it really was just pleasure, a pleasure that only the Bull could provide. But then she realized she wasn't just taking pleasure from the things he did to her, but from the man himself. And truly, more amazing than that, was the fact that he enjoyed her just as much as she enjoyed him, what with all his experience and her lack thereof. "But, once I saw how much he cared for you, I was sorry for even asking."

Era shrugged and smiled at him warmly. "You needn't be too sorry. I probably would have done the exact same thing, had you gotten to him first."

Dorian smirked and put a hand on her shoulder. "I know you would have. We're two peas in a pod, after all, my dear."

Blackwall - Era never could stop calling him that, even after it was revealed that he wasn't Warden Blackwall after all, but Tom Rainier - and Cole were approaching them and so the two mages stopped speaking of the subject but still, Cole said, "She is not angry with you. She knows you would never try to hurt her."

Dorian rolled his eyes at her, but she thought she saw some tension melt out of his shoulders anyway.

But then Cole turned on her. "He'd never have said yes to Dorian or anyone once you were involved. He wants to marry you." Era blushed profusely and looked over at Dorian and then to Blackwall to gague reactions.

Blackwall looked surprised, having not been privy to the conversation that had apparently taken place between Cole and the Bull sometime before, and then even... mildly disappointed. Era felt somewhat guilty even though she knew she shouldn't. She'd known that Blackwall had admired her for a time but she'd have thought that would have faded after all this time, with her and Bull having been so involved. But he masked the disappointment and straightened up. "I believe congratulations are in order for the future Mrs. Bull, then."

Era gave an exasperated sigh. "He hasn't asked me... yet."

"He will."

The certainty with which he said it made Era feel very serene and peaceful.

~The Feeling of Fear~

That night did not stay peaceful for the young mage girl. Nightmares plagued her and left her tossing and turning in the unrest her dreams caused her. She ended up tangled and sweaty beneath she sheets, and if not for being in such a secluded part of the castle, she would wake others with the sound of her screaming as she dreamed of falling from cliffs and ominous threats.

She shot up in bed before dawn broke, sweat dripping from her brow as her stomach roiled uncomfortably and sent her careening across the room towards the chamber pot. She emptied the contents of her stomach into the pot with violent, gut-wrenching heaves. Her throat burned with the bile and her mouth tasted awful. She didn't yet have the energy to pull herself off the floor to go back to bed so she just laid down on the ground, pressing her overheated cheek to the cool stone of her floor for a while and began to drift off again, but she hadn't quite fallen asleep before she was jerked back into awareness by the sound of something crashing into her balcony doors.

Era pushed herself up off the floor, and headed to the balcony door, pushing it open hesitantly. There was nothing on the ground, but perched on the railing was a crow with a small piece of parchment strapped to its foot, which it moved to offer at the sight of her.

The Inquisitor took the note off the crow, expecting it to be something from Leliana, maybe. She favored crows as messenger birds. Or Bull?

However, as she unfurled the parchment, her stomach dropped through the floor and fear flooded through every cell of her body, freezing her blood in her veins. The scented vellum was familiar before she even began to read and the hand it was written in even more so.

"_Lovely Erathine,_

_I've been so happy to have heard of your accomplishments, working with that foolish new Divine whose so fond of you and your... opinions. Was I the one who influenced your recommendation to search the wilds of Ostwick more thoroughly for apostates? If so, I'm rather flattered._

_Also, congratulations on the Ball that the Empress of Orlais is throwing you. Inquisitor Trevelyan? Quite the promotion from, "Mage brat Erathine Trevelyan." Jokes aside, your deeds as Inquisitor are appreciated, even if you don't particularly want my appreciation._

_However, there is still a debt to be paid and the hour draws near. Honestly, a Qunari mate? I would have expected better from you Era. A life's a life, though, and that's what you owe me. Don't worry dearest, I will know when it's time to collect my prize. You needn't concern yourself with notifying me of the special day. Congratulations again, Era. I've waited a long time for this moment._

_My deepest love and regard,_

_-L"_

By the end of the letter, Erathine was panicking. Her knees felt weak and she stumbled back into the wall to brace herself. She was vaguely aware of the fact that she was hyperventilating, but she could barely hear it over the rushing of blood in her ears. No, it couldn't be true. It had to be a lie. She couldn't be...

She leaned over the edge of the balcony and began retching once more, this time out of sheer fear and dread and panic. When she finished, she looked at the letter again, her eyes rushing over the words that had already seemed to have burned themselves into her mind. No, no, no, no! she thought. She must have been holding the letter too tightly as the parchment began to rip. On impulse, she ripped it right down the center and then again and again until it was in tiny pieces and tossed the fragments of the ominous and threatening letter into the wind.

Era laid one hand on her stomach which still felt vaguely unsettled but the ripping up of the letter had been strangely therapeutic. That letter could only mean one thing. But Era couldn't believe it. Not yet. She pushed it from her mind and crawled back in her bed where she remained all day, appointments and schedules be damned. But she still couldn't shake the feeling of fear that gripped her the moment she'd opened the letter.

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><p><strong>AN: So that is the end of the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**I don't know how long or how in depth I'm going to go with this. I guess that kind of depends on the response I get to this first chapter.**

**Signing off -**

**Lass of the Lake**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Second chapter! Trying to crank these out fairly quickly in order to get to the juicy bits. Sorry about the slight wait; it's sometimes hard to get inspired during the build up, at least for me.**

**And thank you to my one reviewer, hannahhobnob!**

Chapter 2: The Inquisitor's Ball

_"May I have this dance, Lady Inquisitor?"_

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><p>A week had come and gone and there was no longer any doubting it - Era was with child. Hawke had confirmed it after Era had taken to bed for two whole days and Josephine had began insisting upon a healer to come check her over. The situation was delicate and Era didn't trust just anyone to come check her over, therefore Hawke, who'd specialized in spirit and healing magics, was a natural and agreeable choice for the Inquisitor.<p>

Julissa Hawke was not a midwife - was not cut out to be a midwife, either - and so her way of confirming the pregnancy had been... rather unorthodox. When Morrigan had asked her how she'd come across this manner of magic, she'd mumbled something about living with elves and how strange their customs could be. Then she'd gone off on a tangent on how gross druffolo meat was and how the elves she'd stayed with had insisted upon her getting the honorary dish which consisted of large chunks of druffolo heart and pancreas. Just hearing about it had the bile rising in Era's throat again.

The ritual had involved Era laying in her bed, on her back, while Lissa stood over her, hands on her still-flat stomach. Lissa's hair had been pulled back into a messy twist, blonde tendrils hanging in her face where they'd come loose. Josie and Morrigan were present as well. Josie stood just a few feet from the bed, practically wringing her hands to the bone, while Morrigan was poised and relaxed, leaning against the wall.

Hawke began to chant, so low that it was nearly inaudible and it certainly sounded elven, whatever she was saying. At first, it didn't seem like anything was happening and Era was starting to think this was one of Lissa's ridiculous jokes, but before she could say something along the lines of, "ha ha, very funny," or, "come on, this is serious" or anything of the sort, Lissa's hands began to glow a bright blue. The magic disrupted the air around them and had Lissa's tendrils of hair swirling around her face, faster and faster. Slowly, Era felt the magic seeping into her, first at skin level, but then deeper. It was like being struck by lightning in a way, the way it tingled, but instead of it jolting through her entire body and damaging it, it coursed through her womb alone and felt absolutely invigorating.

For a moment, Era could feel it - all the life forces in the room and it was a wonder. They all felt different. Hawke's was strong and dominating and if it were to be a color, it was a bright, pulsating red. Josephine's was golden and light and airy, but had a certain... command to it. Morrigan's was dark and mystical with small sparks of hopefulness in it. Her own was hard to describe, but she felt another, pure and new, and very small, coming from within herself.

Lissa stopped chanting and the light faded out of her hands. Slowly, the feeling of the other life forces faded into nothingness once more. Hawke opened her eyes and looked at Era, who had tears in her eyes. "Congratulations," she said. "I'd guess you're just about two months along."

Era was simultaneously unbelievably happy and filled with dread. She was having a baby - Bull's baby! There was going to be a person in this world who came from the two of them and their love for each other and that was an amazing thought. But at the same time, the letter she'd received a few days ago weighed heavily on her mind because that meant that her child was in serious danger and it killed her to think of this poor little pure thing inside of her as unsafe in any shape or form.

She began to sniffle and she couldn't stop the tears from coming.

"Lady Trevelyan?" Josephine asked. When her only response was a smile whine, she moved forwards and grabbed one of the crying mage's hands. "What troubles you? I thought you'd be happy to have a child."

"Maybe it's not The Bull's. What have you and Sera been up to on all those long overnight missions, you little minx?" Hawke joked, but quickly amended with, "Sorry, wrong time for a joke, I suppose," when she saw Era's glare, which while watery and interrupted by small sniffles, was still piercing.

Josephine was still very concerned. "Era?"

The Inquisitor took a moment to compose herself and sighed. "Alright. The truth is, I'm thrilled to be having Bull's baby, but..." Her voice caught and cracked and she stopped and stared at her linens for a second while she tried to reign in the emotions that still overtook her. "But there's a problem. Someone I know from my time in Ostwick, a witch of the wilds, named Lorna, wants my baby, and what's worse is, I kind of owe it to her."

There was a ringing silence in the room. Era could not bear to look at any of their faces and so she stared steadfastly at the sheets.

"You... owe her your baby?" Lissa crossed her arms and looked down at the younger mage in absolute wonder and confusion. "How's that?"

Era didn't want to say anymore than she already had. It was embarrassing that she'd fallen into this situation in the first place. Who else in Thedas could actually say they owed an apostate witch their first born? That was such a strange thing to even think. But they deserved an explanation.

"Okay," she started, taking a large inhale to level herself. "A long time ago, I ventured out of the circle at Ostwick with a small group of other apprentices. I got separated from them and fell down a ravine. I was stuck in there for almost two days and ingested some poisonous berries. Lorna found me and told me she could save me - but only if I agreed to a favor. She didn't specify what the favor would be until after the fact..." Era's voice cracked a little, but she pushed on. "She took me back to her little hut, fed me a potion, and after I'd recovered, demanded my first born." She looked around the room but no one met her eye. "I could hardly refuse her - I'd already agreed!"

More silence. It sounded like something out of a fairy tale that a mother would tell their child to keep them from talking to strangers but it was Era's reality, and because of it, she'd lived her life afraid of becoming a mother. She didn't want to hand her child over to a witch and even worse, she didn't want her child to be hurt or killed in the crossfire in the event of a fight with Lorna.

"Well its clear what we must do," Hawke said, uncrossing her arms and placing a hand on each hands, looking very in charge and every bit the Champion of Kirkwall she was famed for being. Sometimes, with how silly she was, it was difficult to remember that she was basically the hero of two low-scale wars, first between Kirkwall and the Qunari and then between the mages and templars of the city she'd saved from the Qunari in the first place. All eyes turned to her, and she grinned cheekily. "We don't let her near you. You no longer go anywhere alone - you always have a personal guard. Whenever Bull gets back, I'm sure he'll wish to take on the position and he'd be ideal as you sleep together," in classic Hawke fashion, she inserted a wink and an eyebrow waggle in Era's direction here, "but until then, we'll assign people to guard you in shifts. You're not to have a moment alone. When the witch comes for your baby, we'll catch or kill her."

It was such a simple solution, but it hadn't occurred to Era to use the forces and allies she'd amassed as Inquisitor because she'd thought of it as more of a personal problem than something for the Inquisition to deal with. And maybe it still wasn't something to concern the entire Inquisition with but that didn't mean she couldn't ask for the help of those she'd come to know on a more personal level.

"Thank you, Lissa."

~The Feeling of Fear~

Era wasn't left alone for a moment over the next few days. Not even to use the chamber pot. "Oi, if you gotta shit, just fuckin' do it. We all shit. Don't expect yours to smell as rank as us common people, though," had been Sera's reply when she'd coyly tried to ask her to at least retreat into the small study area where she kept her books.

The weird part for Era was the sleeping arrangement that had been drawn up. Lissa and Cullen had become romantically involved - apparently rekindling something that had began in Kirkwall a few years back, before the Templar and mage situation had developed into an all out war - and she'd moved into his chambers. Well, he was loathe to lose her for the night so on night's where Lissa stayed with Era, he slept on her couch on the other side of the room. Lissa had reasoned that another mage had to stay nights with Erathine so that they could both cast barriers over her bed so she'd be plenty protected in her sleep. Sleeping in the same bed as Dorian had been an... interesting experience to say the very least. For one thing, he slept in fine silk pants and shirtless and for another, he talked in his sleep. A lot.

The former Tevinter mage was babbling something about Alexius and his son Felix - presumably a lesson about magic from when he was studying under the Venatori cultist. Not all of it was clear, but Era had definitely heard the other two men's names and some exasperated 'Vint curses - the morning before the Inquisitors Ball in the summer palace. That meant they'd have to set off today. Cole and Morrigan had both opted out of the journey, but Dorian, Blackwall, Sera, Hawke, Cullen and Josephine would all be attending and Leliana would be there, but not overtly.

Era used a dispell in order to escape the barriers cast by both her and Dorian and grabbed her dressing robe, though she'd been wearing a night dress with the Bull having been absent from her side for just over two weeks by this point.

The Inquisitor began packing for the journey. Everything from her armor to her new ball gown, which Josephine had sneaked into her closet sometime between yesterday afternoon and that morning. However, this new gown was far more suited to Era's current condition, as it didn't include the steel-boned corset that most formal gowns did. It merely was cinched by ribbons in the back to accentuate her still slim figure. Era wasn't showing at all just yet.

The young mage girl also packed some herbs and roots that Hawke had prescribed, saying that many elven mothers swore by their power to help in the making of a strong, healthy babe.

She'd just shut her suitcase when she heard the tapping of a beak against the glass of her balcony. Her blood froze in her veins as she looked out of the window to see a bird perched on the railing, similarly to the one who'd brought Lorna's foreboding message. But ignoring it wouldn't make it go away and so Era crossed the room, wiping her sweaty palms against her dressing gown before pulling the door open and taking the message off the bird. There was no fragrance when she opened it and she relaxed as she laid eyes on familiar, if somewhat messy, handwriting.

_"My dearest Kadan,_

_So sorry to have kept you waiting so long for a message. A storm delayed our arrival to Kirkwall by a few days and then Varric had trouble getting us another room and Dalish kept stealing all the paper to make butterflies and other paper shit. But we did get here, safe and sound._

_So here's an update for you: Kirkwall is batshit insane. There are efforts to rebuild, but half of the city is still in shambles and there's a small quarter occupied completely by mages on the outskirts and if any non-mages even come close, they get fried by lightning runes. We sent Dalish in to talk to them and she came out with a healer named Aros practically attached to her, but other than that, no progress whatsoever._

_Most of the Templars have been run out of Kirkwall entirely - a few remain, but they no longer answer to the order and they're using their abilities as private citizens contracted as guards for anyone without magic who has a bit of loose change. It's a big change from all the progress we've made back home._

_I don't know what Varric wants from me and the chargers, but I know we might be here a little longer than first anticipated. Which I'm sure you'll be fine with, seeing as you finally got all the covers to yourself and don't have to steal them off of me. And then entire time I've been writing this, Krem has been asking me to inquire about the well being of Lady Josephine - discreetly, though we both know that's not my style. I think our dearest little Krem has taken an interest in the ambassador. Give me minimal news so I can drive him nuts, if you'd be so kind, Kadan._

_Also, I've been to a place called the Blooming Rose to grab a Charger or two. It's a quaint little brothel, but what I walked in on Stitches and a lovely lady named Kalinda doing reminded me of a few of our encounters. I get rock hard every time I think about it. Can't wait to get my hands on those supple tits of yours again._

_I'm not entirely sure this will reach you before your fancy ball, but I hope it does. Eat some of that food for me._

_Your other half,_

_The Iron Bull."_

Era smiled to herself, her fear about another letter from Lorna forgotten. She crossed the room to her desk and began to jot out a reply. She'd almost finished the letter, having mentioned that Josephine was "doing well," and no more and was just about end the letter in much the same way that Bull had when it occurred to her that she'd made no mention of Lorna, nor even her pregnancy. The young woman sat with her quill hanging over the parchment, torn on what to do. Part of her wanted to tell Bull about everything, but she knew he'd come rushing back as soon as he heard about everything and Varric needed his help. But another part felt like she should tell Bull in person that he was going to be a father.

In the end, she decided not to tell Bull just yet. It really did feel like a face to face announcement, especially since they'd never had any prior conversations about children. Telling him through a letter just seemed cruel.

She'd just sealed the letter when she heard a rather large thump. She jumped out of the chair and whirled around, hand raised to defend herself. However, there was no threat to be found. Rather, Dorian had fallen out of the bed and was groggily shaking himself awake. "Ugh, what happened?" He took stock of where he was, the mattress high above him and Era standing across the room. "This all seems very familiar - just replace you with a young man who looks a fair bit like Cullen and add a throbbing headache and it's quite exact."

"Well everything becomes a bit of a blur when you're such a man whore, yes?"

Dorian didn't respond; just shot her a dirty look and picked himself up off the ground.

~The Feeling of Fear~

The ball wasn't as enchanting this time around. It was the newest in a long line that she'd attended at the Orlesian palace and she was already quite bored of all the masks and the double speak. And she hadn't recalled conversations with Vivienne being quite so exhaustive before. She'd only been able to take it for a short time before she'd had to extricate herself and start dancing with the first man without a partner she could find. But he turned out to be dreadfully boring as well and so she'd high-jacked Sera away from an absolutely lovely looking woman, much to the blonde elf's displeasure.

But she still danced with Era with minimal grumblings. Especially since when three songs had passed, the tall woman asked to cut in and twirled a giggling Sera away into the night.

Era was left alone and she was just about to exit the dance floor when someone caught her hand. She looked over her shoulder and saw a man in a mask, green eyes peering at her intensely. "May I have this dance, Lady Inquisitor?" he asked. And because Era could not think of a reason to refuse him, she merely nodded.

The man pulled Era close, but it was far from a warm or flirty embrace. It was cold, there was nearly 3/4 a foot of space between their chests, he held their hands almost awkwardly high and his hand was barely placed on the small of her back. It was quite different from the intimate dances she'd shared with Bull in the past. Very technical and... cold.

She'd never danced with someone lacking quite so much passion before. He wasn't a bad dancer, but it felt like he wasn't comfortable with the length of his limbs and he was very stiff, but he knew the steps and knew how to lead, so it was an interesting style of dance. The most passionate part of the dance was when he spun her out and then spun her into his chest, dipping her back slightly as his eyes captured hers in an almost electric gaze. But his eyes widened, he broke the stare and clumsily spun her away from himself, almost tripping her with how quickly he jerked her away.

The dance ended and he bowed to her quickly. "Thank you for the dance, Inquisitor Trevelyan. It was a delight and an honor," and then turned and pushed his way through the crowd.

Era was left entirely bewildered and looked around to see the reactions of those around her to see if this was some sort of rouse or part of the Game that the Orlesians loved to play so much, but no one was looking down at her through their eyeholes. In fact, you'd never know this ball was in her honor with the way everyone seemed to have forgotten her existence. The band was taking a small break and so the dance floor was clearing and everyone who was standing along the raised balconies above the dance floor was preoccupied in small group conversations.

Era exited off the floor herself and wasn't quick enough to notice the Empress before she was intercepted by her royal highness. "Lady Inquisitor," Celene greeted brightly, dropping her many skirts with one hand in order to offer it to Era, who accepted it and curtsied low. "Milady, you need not curtsy to me. I owe you my life - I think a little informality will do."

The young mage fought the urge to raise an eyebrow. Era had no doubt that Celene meant it wholeheartedly. She was a sweet woman as well as a capable monarch. However, if she had failed to curtsy to the Empress, she had no doubt that even her position as Inquisitor wouldn't save her from becoming the subject of the gossiping of the courtiers in attendance tonight. She was already slated to be the center of attention next year in her own mind when she'd arrive with a five month old infant in her arms (or simply decline arriving at all, though she felt that Celene would insist) and didn't feel like drawing attention to herself before then. She could just hear them. "Inquisitor didn't bow to Empress Celene. Who does she think she is?" "She's let the power go to her head." "Has she forgotten her low origin already?"

The blonde tore the girl from her musings about those around them by saying, "So what do you think of the ball?"

"I wish everyone would take off the masks," Era said, unthinkingly. It hit her a moment later, what she'd just said, her eyes widened so much so that they looked as if they might pop free of her skull and she only just stopped herself from slapping a hand over her mouth. It was too late to take it back. She'd fucked up. Oh, how she wished Bull was here to take the heat off her by saying something worse.

There was a pause in which Era was really uncertain of how bad a faux pas she'd just made. Was suggesting the removal of the masks worthy of a beheading? If so, well, it was unlikely that her punishment would be that bad, as she'd once saved the Empress and the world as they knew it. Would this mean there'd be no Inquisitor's Ball next year? Hold on, this mistake might have some bright consequences after all.

However, all Era's worry for naught as Celene laughed. "It's all part of the great Game Inquisitor," she reminded her, light of heart and voice. But then she said something that Era did not expect; "However, this ball is in your honor, and surely one night without the masks will not send the Game crumbling into the dust." And as if it were no great deed, Celene reached back and unfastened her mask and brought it away from her face. There were some gasps from people around them, but Era paid them no mind. It was the first time Era had ever seen Celene without her mask. For someone of the Monarch's age, which she'd never heard explicitly stated but she gauged to be around her mid-forties, she looked very young and extremely pretty. Her hair was tied back as always, but a few tendrils fell forward from where they'd been pulled out of the up-do by the removal of her mask. "You are staring, Inquisitor," she said as she handed the mask to one of her attendants, who took it with a small bow.

"My apologies, your Highness," Era said, sort of dazed by what had just happened. She hadn't even meant to comment on the masks, let along actually have the Empress remove hers. But here they were.

As people took notice of Celene's bare face, a few others began to unfasten their masks, followed by even more. It was... unreal, to say the least. Era and Celene parted ways with a goodbye and a kiss on the cheek and Era went on her merry way around the ball. Without the masks, things seemed... easier. Less intimidating. She could see both displeased and happy looks on people's faces and it made her feel more at ease to not guess at any given moment what the person she was speaking to was feeling.

About an hour later, there was nary a mask to be seen. All were bare of face and it might have been Era's imagination, but she almost thought the Ball seemed more lively than before. There was more dancing and she heard people laughing every now and again where before, the event had felt somewhat dour. She knew tomorrow, this very hall would be filled once more with masked people with their own best interests at the forefront of their mind and the merrier manner of tonight would be forgotten, but for now, she basked in the loveliness of the ball.

She was so enchanted that she didn't notice a figure hovering by one of the glass doors that lead out to one of the many balconies the palace possessed. Not until it grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her through the doors and straight onto a freezing glyph. She didn't even have time to scream before the paralysis took hold of her body, freezing the sound in her throat. The doors gently shut behind her and the man who'd pulled her through the door circled around to her front. A mask and the same green eyes she'd seen peering at her during the dance. "I'm sorry," he said, sounding earnest and shaky. "I'm so sorry."

Era was scared and confused as he stepped back and out of the shadows, a booted foot appeared. "That's all, Messere Roquer. You'll find that your daughter has been returned to her room back at your estate."

With one last regretful look at Era, the man she'd danced with fled, running back through the doors and shutting them quietly once more, and he must have drawn the curtains so no one could see, as the light on the terrace dimmed considerably. But Era didn't need light to recognize it was Lorna who'd spoken. The voice of that witch had haunted her for nearly twelve years now.

And yet, she looked the same as the last time Era had seen her. Ashy gray and blonde hair was swept up into a braid nearly to her knees, her face was lined, but not old and wrinkly. She looked... maybe fifty at the most. But Era knew she had to be older than that, since she'd looked that way when Era was a mere fifteen year old and now she was encroaching upon twenty-seven. As she looked at Era, her face broke out into a sickly sweet smile. "Era," she cooed venomously. "How have you been, my dear? Taking care of that baby, I hope."

Era wanted to scream as Lorna took a step forward and placed a hand on her stomach and she felt magic stab through her, so different from the gentle flow of Hawke's precise ritual.

Cat-like eyes darted up to meet hers with a sinister smile. "Ah, yes. A healthy little boy. You should be very proud, Erathine."

A boy? She was having a baby boy? Bull would have a son?

Lorna stepped back and leaned against the balcony very nonchalant, her body language. "Anyhow, I was just stopping by to pay you a visit. I know you've had a guard on you at all times for a week or so now, but I just wanted you to know this." She leaned forward, eyes intent and hungry. "I have eyes everywhere. I know all. And you're not safe, my dear. Not until your debt is repaid and I have your sweet little boy in my arms." She paused and took a deep inhale. "That was all. And I must be going before one of your friends happens upon us. Ta, Era."

With a flourish of her hand, she'd turned into a raven and flew away. The paralysis glyph disappeared and Era crumpled onto the ground, sobbing and gripping her stomach for dear life, and that was how Cullen found her ten minutes later.

He stooped to her side and gently tried to coax what was wrong out of her, but she was completely incoherent, and so, he picked her up and carried her out of the ball, sending Hawke to notify all other Inquisition constituents of their departure. He held her face to his chest so no one would see the weakness and devastation written all over the Inquisitor's face and she let him, desperately wishing it were Bull instead.

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><p><strong>AN: And that's chapter two! Please let me know what you think of it. I was somewhat surprised by the amount of favorites and follows I got, but also incredibly flattered and I hope more people find and enjoy this story as it continues.**

**I think that's all so...**

**Signing off -**

**Lass of the Lake**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you so much to all my new followers and favorite-ers! I'm so sorry it took me some time to get this one out. I got occupied at work which is usually when I work on this.**

**Special thanks to all those who reviewed - Marlene101, Genesis Valkarian, Blayze Trevelyan and lollipopmonkiez. It makes a writer feel really good to get some feedback so thank you for taking time to do so.**

**On with chapter 3!**

Chapter 3: A Difficult Decision

_"I need to leave Skyhold. On my own. As soon as possible."_

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><p>Eventually, Dorian had been able to get the story out of her, piece by piece, holding her and rocking her as she cried. She felt ridiculous. She was the fucking Inquisitor and the Herald of Andraste, Maker's breath. She'd faced down a would-be God and won without so much as a shiver, but this whole situation with Lorna had her feeling like a scared fifteen year old all over again.<p>

Era and her advisers stood in her room in a tense silence. The question of "what to do" hung heavily in the air. The young mage had an idea, but she knew it wouldn't be liked.

Morrigan, who had been included due to her experience as a witch of the wilds herself, was the first one to speak up. "So the plan to keep Erathine guarded at all times failed. What a surprise." Hawke, to her credit, did not say anything to the obvious attack from the dark haired witch; however, the blonde mage's jaw clenched visibly and it almost looked like there were a few minor electrical sparks around her fingertips until Cullen took he hand closest to him and kissed her knuckles. It was a little overly hostile, especially since Morrigan hadn't spoken up against Hawke's plan when it was proposed. "This woman is very powerful. To have kidnapped a nobleman's daughter and gone unseen at a ball, even whilst masks were removed? Formidable, indeed."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, but I didn't hear a plan in there anywhere," Julissa sniped, and there was almost an audible crack of thunder as the two magical women's gazes locked.

Morrigan's scowl could have been deadly. "Watch yourself, you glorified gutter-"

"Now is hardly the time for pettiness, no?" Leliana interjected, looking at both women like she had expected better of them.

The exchange was almost... entertaining, especially considering that Leliana was (most likely) younger than Morrigan and not too much older than Hawke and yet, she was acting like their mother. It was also comforting that things went on as normal. Hawke and Morrigan continued to barely tolerate each other, only begrudgingly admitting to having a smidgen of respect for the other's magical prowess.

Leliana looked between the two, checking to see if the storm had passed. Hawke at least had the decency to look slightly abashed. Morrigan still looked quite angry, but had the grace to say nothing further and merely lean against the wall with a wilting scowl and a watchful eye. Satisfied that they wouldn't tear into each other anymore for now, Leliana turned her attention the group at large. "If one thing is true, it's that we do need a plan."

"This isn't like when we were fighting Corypheus," Cullen added, his hand still holding Hawke's and smoothing her fingers. "This isn't a job for the entire Inquisition." Here, he looked over at Era. "Your fear of this woman, understandable as it is, might make you seem... weak, as would sending in forces to take care of one enemy."

It stung, but Era couldn't argue. She didn't just seem weak - she felt weak.

"Not to mention, Erathine told us Lorna herself said she had eyes everywhere." Josephine looked pensive, defined dark eyebrows pulling her brow into a light pucker and her lips turned down into a light frown. "The Inquisition is a large force, and we were being somewhat indiscriminate during the war with Corypheus about who we were welcoming into our order. There'd be no possible way to vet every last member of the Inquisition, nor even those in our walls as we've become quite a trade center since the war ended. We've got new merchants coming and going daily."

"Then there's just one solution," Morrigan said, her eyes boring into Era, her tone leaving no room for argument, and Era knew she'd reached the same conclusion.

"I need to leave Skyhold. On my own. As soon as possible."

The uproar was instantaneous and filled even her large chambers to the brim with shouting, Cullen loudest of them all. The handsome commander's face contorted in anger. "Are you mad!?" he exclaimed above Josie's concerned, "My lady!" and Leliana's stubborn, "Out of the question." Hawke was suspiciously quiet. Cullen pulled away from his love and approached Era, striding closer until he towered over her, looking down at her. "You are absolutely insane if you think we'll let you leave here, unprotected."

A deadly calm came over Era and she tuned the rest of what the angry man said after that. They wouldn't _"let"_ her leave? She watched as he continued to yell and he could barely hear the din of her two other advisers joining in, telling her what she couldn't do. Era had had enough of this conversation. She gently laid a hand on the commanders chest plate and channeled all her magic quickly and precisely in a wave of force through her palm. She saw it just barely register in the commander's face what she was doing before he went flying away from her, landing with a loud clanging of armor against stone. All yelling went silent and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of Cullen huffing as he tried to regain his breath.

"You won't _let_ me leave?" Era asked, her voice devoid of it's usual kindness or sweet nature. This was all The Inquisitor and her force and command. Era didn't bring out this side of her often, but she needed it now to remind those who'd forgotten exactly who she was. "I'm afraid, my dearest friends, you don't have an option. You are my advisers, meaning you may tell me that you think this is a bad plan and _advise_ against it, but you may not - and will not - command me on what to do."

Morrigan was pleased. "Ah, there's the Erathine I knew."

Josephine was not so pleased, nor were the others. "But my lady, your duty to the Inquisi-"

"Josephine!" Era snapped, cutting her off with a powerful roar that clearly startled the Antivan woman. Era took it down just a notch before continuing. "There will be no more discussion on this matter. I _am _going. My duty is first to myself and my child. I'm sure the Inquisition will survive this relatively peaceful time for a few months while I figure out what to do about Lorna."

Cullen finally caught his breath and stood up with the assistance of Hawke. "My apologies, Lady Inquisitor. It was not my place to question your judgement." Era accepted his apology with a gracious nod, even though he still looked rather displeased. "May I ask that you don't travel alone, however. Perhaps an escort?"

Era mulled the idea over. She had to admit, there were certainly some advantages to not going it completely alone. Less chance of someone taking her completely by surprise. Assistance against any run-of-the-mill bandits that she may run into, especially later down the line when she was larger of stomach and slower and more tired for it. And two people wouldn't be much easier to track than one so it wouldn't hurt. Era nodded, "Alright, I see the merit of that. I will be leaving Skyhold on my own, but perhaps I could meet an escort at a rendezvous point soon after?" She looked around the room and there seemed to be a general consensus that that would work.

"It shouldn't be someone easily identified as part of the Inquisition, however," Leliana added. "It'll be hard enough to disguise you as it is. I suggest dyeing the white streaks in your hair black so that you're less recognizable. So then who should we send to accompany you?"

Hawke was smiling impishly. "I've got just the people to get you out of Thedas."

Era sensed that it was better for her not to ask - at least, not yet, and so she accepted that with smile and a good-natured shake of the head.

The others began to leave the room, Morrigan first, sweeping out of the room quickly, as she'd been closest to the door, then Leliana and Hawke, trailed by Cullen, already whispering about plans for her travels, Era was sure. However, Josephine hadn't moved and was standing in her room, a hesitant look on her face. "What is it, Josie?" Era asked, going to sink on the edge of her bed. She felt exhausted. All of the stern and forceful nature had left her and she was left with the sweet, if sleepy, Era as before.

"My Lady," Josephine started, her voice clearly unsure of whether she should say anything at all. "What of The Iron Bull?"

Hearing his name was like a punch to the gut. She'd agonized over this once she'd come to the decision to leave Skyhold. "He can't know, Josie. Someone could intercept the note and find me. It's just not safe. Bull has to be left in the dark, as much as I hate to do it to him."

Josie nodded solemnly, bowed her head a little and left the young mother-to-be alone with her thoughts.

~The Feeling of Fear~

It was smoldering in Kirkwall. Bull and the Chargers were just on their way back from the Wounded Coast with Varric. The merchant dwarf was in his usual garb, Bianca strapped to his back and a grin on his face. "I have to tell you, that last kill was quite something. Artistry with an ax. Do you mind if I describe that move in my next novel?" he asked Bull.

Bull laughed heartily. "Go right ahead, Varric, though I expect a dedication. 'To the Iron Bull. May you ever paint red with your ax,'" he joked, clapping the dwarf of the shoulder as he joined him in laughter.

The rest of the party was not nearly so high in spirits. The other members of the Chargers were practically slogging through the slums of Lowtown behind the two jolly men. Dalish had sprained her ankle when diving behind a rock and her new little boy toy was too wiped from the fight to heal her on site so he was propping her up as she limped through the streets. Krem's breast plate had been dented and had been pressing harshly into his chest and so he'd been forced to remove it, which meant you could vaguely see the tops of his bound breasts over his loose fitting tunic while he grumpily carried the plate at his side. Grim and Stitches were carrying a passed out Rocky - who, after, several years of trying to develop his own gaatlok, had still not learned that during the heat of battle was not the best time to test his new formulation - and Skinner trailed behind all, just generally not of a good disposition.

"Hey, Chief," Krem, shouted up at his captain, causing both men to look back him. "I think we could all use a good import today - not any of that cheap stuff Varric's been treating us to."

"Hey," Varric said, mock-defensively, but it was easy to see he was still of good humor and the jab was all in good fun. "If you want one of them fancy ales, you've all got to chip in. I could live off the Hanged Man's piss water if I had to."

Bull chortled. "According to the Julissa, that's what you did for several years while she was out being a Champion."

Varric shot the Bull a raised eyebrow. "And you believed her? I also lived on debauchery and stories."

That one earned a collective chuckle from the group, but that could also be because they had just reached the top of the steps that lead to the front door of the Hangman. It was a little hole in the wall bar that Varric stayed in rather than an estate, even though he could certainly afford one. The original had been blown half to bits in the battle between the mages and templars of Kirkwall several years before but a new one had been constructed and did some of the best business in Kirkwall, especially with half of Hightown still in ruin. Varric sometimes grumbled about missing the grime and dirt and disreputable nature of the old Hangman, but it still wasn't exactly a highbrow spot.

The gaggle of Chargers burst through the door into the Hangman. "Barkeep, a round of your finest! We're celebrating a job well done," Varric announced as they entered. With a sidelong glance at Bull he said, "You all owe me five gold."

Bull chuckled heartily and picked up a tankard from the tray that was incoming towards their table that the rest of the Chargers were settling down at. Well, all except Rocky, who'd been dumped unceremoniously on the floor of the tavern. Bull had just taken a swig of his ale when he felt a timid tap on his shoulder. He turned to see a small elven serving girl staring up at him with the biggest forest green eyes that he'd ever seen. "This missive came for you earlier, serah," she said, holding out a folded up piece of paper. Her little bone thin hands were shaking. Bull sometimes forgot how scary he could be since it was a rare event he was out of the presence of those who knew him well these days.

"Thanks, cupcake," Bull answered back, easily slipping back into his old flirtatious facade that put people at ease around him.

She blushed a little and skittered off to get back to her duties. Bull smiled and turned his attention to the note. On the front of the parchment, in familiar beautifully cultivated handwriting was written 'The Iron Bull.' He unfolded it and began to read.

_"My Bull, my Kadan,_

_I already miss you so much. I'm happy to hear that you've reached Kirkwall safely, even if it is a madhouse over there. Should mean you and your Chargers will fit right in, as you're all a bunch of crazies anyway, and in the short time you've been there, you've already collected a new one. You can't take Dalish anywhere, can you?_

_And you can't expect too much from Kirkwall. It's only been a few years since that big blow out - literally. Is it too soon to make jokes like that? Whatever. The Chantry went boom along with half of the rest of the city and whatever wasn't hit by the explosion was damaged by the fighting, looting and rampant demons. I mean, you've heard Hawke's stories about that final day in Kirkwall. And because so many people fled, they don't have the same man power or resources we do up in Skyhold. I mean, you did say there's only a handful of templars left. People are probably hiding from the scary mages._

_And despite what you seem to think, I quite enjoy stealing the covers from you. It usually leads to something along the lines of what you probably witnessed in the Blooming Rose and oh, how I miss that. Your arms around me, the heat of you, your commanding presence, your massive..._

_Ahem, I seem to miss it more than I first realized. I'm dampening my smalls just thinking about it._

_Lady Josephine is doing well._

_As for the rest of us, we're scrambling to get ready for the Ball - yes, I promise to eat some of the food in your honor. I'm not looking forward to it, but Josephine did get me a new dress. I promise to have someone make a quick sketch of me in it and send it forthwith in my next correspondence._

_By the way, you never did mention that Dorian propositioned you for a tumble in the sheets after you and I'd gone a couple rounds. Or that you said no, even though we hadn't agreed to be 'together' yet. You liiiiiked me!_

_Other than that, nothing much is new. We're still doing small tasks for the Inquisition since there's nothing major going on right now. Relative peace is actually a little boring, especially if you're the figurehead of a massive organization committed to bringing peace about. I mean, when Corypheus was about, I never got to rest. I was always fighting. Sometimes even when I was sleeping. Remember that one time I struck that bandit with lightning before I'd even woken up? Those were the days. Now I'm lucky if I come across any rogue mages or anything higher class than a gaggle of really unorganized bandits._

_Anyhow, I hope your time in Kirkwall is fruitful. Have fun on your ventures. I hope to see you soon, my dearest Kadan._

_All my love,_

_Erathine."_

Bull finished the letter with a soft smile that had the Chargers in a tizzy, making playful jabs about being whipped and things of the like, and a little stiffness in his pants that made him glad that he always wore loose trousers. He folded the letter back up neatly and stuffed it in a small pocket on his belt before downing the rest of his tankard which he'd temporarily forgotten about with a letter from his beloved in his hand. "Hey Krem," he boomed, smacking said Charger on the shoulder as he approached. "Era says that Josie is doing well. You want to ask anything else before I go write her back?"

The former 'Vint's cheeks tinged red as the other Chargers turned their attentions to him and began chanting "Krem and Josie, Krem and Josie," and he ducked his head, muttering a quick, "No."

"Are you sure?" Bull asked, loving every second of torturing is lieutenant.

"Oh, just go write your wife, you sadistic giant," Krem replied, hiding his face behind his tankard as he took another swig, but it was still pretty clear he was embarrassed.

"She's not my wife," Bull responded easily. "At least, not yet."

Bull returned to his room and took a sheet of paper from the desk that was littered in paper butterflies and a few dragonflies and flowers. Dalish just couldn't help herself. He took his time jotting a reply to Era, even going so far as to include a lewd sketch of the two of them in the letter. Andraste, how he missed her. He couldn't wait to get back to Skyhold. He'd keep her captive in that room for days. And then he'd make sure she was his for the rest of their lives.

The Qunari man folded up his letter and passed it to a serving girl who was walking down the hall. "Could you make sure this gets sent to Skyhold, darling?" he asked, and she giggled, blushed and nodded, taking the note in her free hand, balancing a tray full of empty mugs on the other.

Bull pulled Era's note back out of the small pocket on his belt and read it over again. It made him feel warm all over to hold her words in his hands. It was almost like having a piece of her, even though she was thousands of miles away. The note even vaguely smelled of her perfume. He pulled the other thing he'd been hiding in his belt for the last couple days. The blue opal ring glinted in the low lantern light. It was cut into a smooth heart and had a single, tiny diamond set on either side.

The moment he saw her, he'd get down on one knee, he swore to himself, eager to see the band on her finger.

Bull slipped the ring and the note back into his belt pocket and buttoned it shut before leaving his room and rejoining his men and Varric back in the tavern area. Varric seemed to have conned Skinner, Aros, Grim and Krem into a round of Wicked Grace. Stitches was on the ground with Rocky, who was just coming to. Bull remembered a time in his life when his Chargers were all he needed. This small group was pretty much his family. How much one woman had changed everything.

"Deal me in. I want to play the next round," Bull said, bumping Krem over and dropping down on the bench.

~The Feeling of Fear~

The light sloshing of the sea against the bow of the boat was soothing to the pirate captain. The salty sea air flowed through her dark tendrils of hair, or at least those that weren't secured down by a bandanna, her hat or wrangled into a variety of braids with ornaments hanging from them. Her tongue absently rolled around the stud that poked through her lip, making the little gold orb bob in and out through the little hole.

Isabela felt extremely restless. They'd been docked for days now, repairing the flagship and her favorite of her fleet after a little rough and tumble with some smugglers they'd put out of commission. But she couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to happen.

As she leaned out over the front of the boat, she noticed something against the dark horizon, coming toward the ship. It was small, but quick, and was cutting though the sky like there was no wind, no gravity and nothing to hold it back. Isabela straightened up. "Fenris, get up here," she commanded, watching the little speck as it grew larger and larger. A bird.

She heard leather against wood as her love ascended from their quarters below deck. "What?" the grouchy elf, asked. Isabela wordlessly pointed up at the incoming bird. "A... bird?" he asked, confused. He squinted out at the tawny speck and as it came closer, he could distinguish the tawny color and the sleekness of its bird body. "A hawk. Hawke." He sighed. Hawke thought she was so clever, using the bird her surname was derived from as her signature messenger bird. "I wonder what she wants this time."

The two sailors waited as the bird descended, circling as it went, and landed on the railing. Fenris was about to approach to take the missive from it's talon, but there wasn't any.

"What the..."

Isabela trailed off as a green flash of light enveloped the deck, and where the bird had rested stood Hawke herself. Her long blonde braid whipped in the night air as she straightened out from the crouch her transformation had left her in. "Hey," she greeted, hopping from the rail down onto the deck with a light thud and a cheeky grin. "How's it going?"

Isabela raised one dark eyebrow. "For you to come here yourself, something big must be happening."

Hawke shrugged and beamed at her friends. "You know me too well." Julissa walked forward and grabbed an old friend on each side, hooking an arm around both of their necks and pulling them down to her height. "I've got a mission for the two of you."

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><p><strong>AN: And that's chapter 3!**

**I'm not really sure what I'd like to say about this chapter other than I'm sorry that it took so long. Please review and tell me your thoughts.**

**Signing off -**

**Lass of the Lake**


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